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| lol, wow back on my xanga. long time since i've used it but maybe i should use it more to reflect on things that should be considered the most. my homegurl just messeged me about her and guys, how much she doesn't trust them how much guys are "jerks." but really, doesn't that apply to any normal person? girls and guys have the same type of instincts, somewhat resemble the same emotions, guys have as much capability to fuck up a girls life just as much as any girl to a guy. we can prant on about how much someone sucks, how much they hate the individual, all they're bad traits. but have you ever considered yourself? maybe you made the mistake to make the situation like it is now, maybe you tried to make an illusion become so real even yourself is blinded by the truth. take me for example. I believed all my ignorance, all my stubborness, everything to make a girl feel bad even lonely, would go unoticed. I fucked up, thats why i sit here to thinking about what she was talking about. because in a way it reflected on me. she wasn't talking about me but if onE person could take what a person is saying, take all they're emotions and use it to fix there own, most relationship would last a lot longer. what occured to me is maybe i should do what makes my partner see that im really there, not just being a simple boyfriend, or a really good friend, but to make the person feel something way more then that. make the person seem that what is there is unbreakable... | | |
| Wow, emotional times for me are when you can't let go of whatever it is you can't seem to have. I seek for companionship, the love that onE special person could give. I draw lonesome everyday without a trace of hope, sparing what is the truth. You can never find what you hope for and my hope seems all lost. When it does seem to come to me everything seems to crash, nothing goes right. I keep hope of finding a special person but only to be mentally torn with unspeakable sadness. My heart everyday cries when seeing people everyday, go on with there partners. Seeing the happiness, the love, the things I cannot have. I block away the dreams, the hopes of ever achieving what I long for the most. I had made what I want so much my enemy. I retalliate, hoping it won't try to come back to me. But it won't stop, the thought of it pierces my mind and turns me into something I am not. The thought overwhelms me, missing everything that seems to make me happy. I wish the thought wasn't so intense, but seeing other people go on enjoying what makes me depressed almost seems as if the couple mock me. But really it is not the couple, it is the thought of companionship that brings me down. I don't know what more to say about this. But all I can do is not seek it but let it come to me. Im lost in a cloud of smoke,blown away to a valley of nothing. I try to stop what it is that hurts but only to be brought down even more.... | | |
| hiiiiiiiiii mike welps i did your xanga hope you like it okays um tell me if you want me to change anythings and sorry if you think the song's gay i didn't know what kinda of music to put on here!!! oh yeah your chatter box is the same color because i hads the username but not the password for flooble chatter box site thingy.....you are a very dramatical person Mike so much drama on your xanga it reall brings a person down well have a nice day ^__^ peace out dude!
<3 Jennifer <3 | | |
| damn been a couple days fucking writing up in the blog, shit nothing new, just fucking chillen, kicking it the homeboy's, drinking, smokin, doing whatevers. fuck, sometimes it's fucking better to live life to the fullest then trying to end the fun quickly. ya know? shit like for example girls. most girls are a fucking waste of time that's why you get the quick breezy keep the fun :) then let there ass go quick before they want that fucking thing called a "relationship" fuck all that girl's are actually the more immature onE's in the relationship. you need to let them grow up a little more before even considering onE. We men, boys whatever your profile is, may act immature but fuck if you think about it that shit can be fixed. But girl's, women, whatever they can't make there fucking mind about anything, and that shit is fucking hard to fix, onE minute the bitch wants something the next she changes her fucking mind about it, damn that shit is fucking annoying. lol. but anyways iono about considering a relationship, the girl would have to be nice, got manners, but definatly gotta be a freak in the bed, ya heard? lol anyways nothin' else to say, im about to bounce anyways....payce! | | |
| Well, iono. it sucks when you want someone to be something there not. Because sometimes it's not always so disappointing but depressing. I find out that secrets should be remained hidden. But when it is revealed to you your whole perspective of it is changed. Like you don't ever want to believe the person you love or like so much would cheat on you or break your heart. You go on everyday denying the fact that they would ever do anything of that standard. But really in your mind you already know the truth, you know that honestly they dun give a fuck about you. they will play with you like your a blind fucker on the street. They show love and hate in everything they do. they tease you and yell at you till they believe that they are loosing you but then once you about to let go, they grab you and hold on because they wanna bring you down even more. they try to mock you in such a hidden form they make you believe it's true. but, it sucks when your actions condradict themselves because you love the person so much, you hate it. I have begun to hate what i love and decided to give no remorse. you see what really is hidden behind the beauty and charm and begin to see the monster. you look back one more time see them again, but i believe my fear is why i turn back to them again.... | | |
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